Ok… the belly situation has gotten waaaay out of hand. If you missed last month’s newsletter, I was talking bemoaning my rapid weight gain, right before a fabulous girl's trip to QLD.

Yep, just as I ripped the tags off my new bikini, my belly began to rebel.

Fast forward to my hotel room in Brisbane, where I’m staring at the mirror in full panic mode over my sizeable stomach. Sure, cocktails and snacks were consumed this trip, but this wasn’t just a food baby.
I looked ready to pop. 

And then the overthinking kicks in…

“OMG, could I actually be pregnant?”

Cue the frantic mental math… When was my last period? For a peri-menopausal woman, that’s like asking me where I last left my car keys.

I mean, what are the chances? My sex life is thriving… but pregnant? No way! Still…what else could explain this belly?

So there I was, a 52-year-old perimenopausal woman sneaking into the nearest Chemist Warehouse to buy a pregnancy test.

Sunglasses firmly in place, I navigated the aisles like I was a celebrity dodging the paparazzi, fully expecting someone to leap out from behind the Panadol display with a camera.

And the verdict?

Not pregnant (thank you, sweet Lord!) Just fat! Menopause, you cruel mistress. 

But hey, can you really blame me for the momentary freakout? It’s still possible to get knocked up during perimenopause. It happens! Which reminds me: next month, I’ll be diving into all things sex 😏

But back to the belly.

I realised I had no choice but to go hardcore.

Experts say lift heavy and build muscle… well, I went so hard I need a walking frame just to get out of my chair.

I’ve also made breakfast a priority, plus cramming in more protein. 

The good news? After three weeks, I’m finally seeing some progress.
The bad news? It’s been a buttload of effort for tiny, incremental changes.

In my 20s, I could’ve shed this in a week. But here I am, sweating buckets for a measly win. I guess in menopause, it’s all about the slow and steady race, right?

Plus, with my mortgage looming and those jaw-dropping repayments, fitting back into my clothes is the fire under my butt! Just wish the climb wasn’t so steep – I’ve had enough uphill battles this year! 

November brings yet another round of upheaval and change for me.

After finalising my divorce earlier this year and moving into rentals, I’m gearing up to relocate (again!)

But this time, I’m not juggling a new job, launching a business, or navigating a breakup. Phew 🥵

Things are finally settling and I feel like I’m clawing my way out of the abyss! Heck, I haven’t had thrush in weeks – it's like my ol’ self is making a comeback (periods and all).

My mood is stable, and I genuinely feel happy.

That said, I’m not exactly symptom-free (hello, belly fat!). Plus, night sweats and brain fog are still hanging around like a bad smell. Guess you can’t win ‘em all!

You know what else is hangin’ around? The four chin hairs that have taken up permanent residence. Two black, two white – my own little yin and yang for the jawline! Perfect for Movember, don’t you think? I thought this month was all about men’s health, but this chin moustache I’m cultivating is a constant reminder I can’t even keep my own health in check! 

And let’s not forget the flood of messages I get daily from women dealing with frozen shoulder. So far, that’s one of the 34+ menopause symptoms I’ve managed to dodge. But if my post-workout muscle pain is any indication (I literally couldn’t lift my arms for a week), you have my utmost sympathy!

So what’s the deal?

Medically speaking, frozen shoulder – or “adhesive capsulitis” – is basically your shoulder throwing a fit. We’re talking sharp tightness that makes even the simplest tasks impossible. Hold a frying pan? Nope. Reach the top shelf? Forget it! Wash your hair? Don’t even think about it!

Menopausal women are hit harder because the drop in estrogen cranks up inflammation, and it can linger for up to a year – or even three!

Seriously, wtf?!

And about those unwanted chin hairs? As we approach menopause, estrogen and progesterone levels drop faster than testosterone, leading to a case of androgen dominance and a little extra fuzz.

If I had frozen shoulder, I’d be in big trouble – how would I lift my arms to tweeze those pesky chin hairs?

Fear not, friends. There are answers. I’ve dropped some links in the wrap-up below with tips on tackling these annoying issues. And if those symptoms aren’t weird enough, don’t even get me started on phantom smells!

🚨Important Study Alert: Women Needed!🚨

The Monash Women’s Health Research Program is calling for women under 55 who are on a stable dose of HRT to join an important study. It’s painless, quick, and they even reimburse you for your time and expenses!

What’s the scoop?

This study is exploring whether low-dose testosterone supplementation can boost sexual function and reduce bone loss in postmenopausal women on estrogen replacement therapy.

What’s involved?

You’ll participate in scans, health tests, and fill out questionnaires about your musculoskeletal health, cardiometabolic health, and sexual well-being.

They’re almost at the finish line but need your help for the final recruitment push! If you're interested, check it out here or share with someone who might fit the bill!

 Until next month

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