My dirty little secret
My dirty little secret.
Dating in your 50s: not exactly a walk in the park.
But if you think my dry vagina is the core of my dating woes, you’re wrong.
Forget the dating apps or even the dilemma of finding a decent date.
My biggest nightmare is the dreaded “sleepover.”
I’m not a commitment-phobe (although after my recent divorce, I’m in no hurry to get into binding contracts).
It’s that I can’t hide my dirty little secret…
I snore like a lumberjack!
If you live in my neighbourhood, chances are you’ve mistaken my snoring for a chainsaw starting up at 3 am. So imagine the poor guy who sleeps next to me!
Yep, sleepovers look a little different. Gone are the days of waking an hour early to glam up and pretend I woke up flawless (we’ve all been there). Now it’s all about mouth tape, nasal strips and anti-snore chin straps.
And let’s not forget the CPAP machine – because nothing says “sexy” quite like a bedtime breathing aid.
I know I’ve put on a few kg’s in the past few years (thanks, menopause) and I may have snored on the odd (drunk) occasion, but wtf is going on?
Turns out I’m not the only one.
Snoring is the uninvited guest crashing almost 60% of our menopausal sisters’ slumber parties.
Why is it happening?
Culprit #1: Fluctuating hormones, surprise surprise! Estrogen and progesterone usually keep our airways in check, but when hormone levels drop during menopause, hello, snoring.
Culprit #2: Weight gain. Menopause’s gift of weight gain can lead to sleep-breathing changes and a full-on snore fest.
There’s also a theory that weight gain around your neck during menopause narrows your airway, making it harder to breathe while you sleep 🤔
I couldn’t find a single source that backed this claim, but seriously, is there a Jenny Craig for flabby necks now?
As a single woman in her 50s, discovering your snoring status is practically a survival skill.
So I found myself an app that serves up cold, hard, snoring stats. Let’s just say, the numbers aren’t exactly flattering. Sigh!
What’s a girl to do?
Pray the guy snores louder than me? That’s not exactly at the top of my dating app wish list.
But fate threw in a humorous twist – enter Mr. Hot and Hearing Impaired! Lucky for him if we reach the sleepover stage (or should I say, lucky me? 😂)
But here’s the thing, hot and hearing impaired men can’t be the only solution. Surely.
The embarrassment is one thing, but sleep disorders are a whole different kettle of fish.
Snoring might just be the tip of the iceberg, masking a bigger issue like OSA (Obstructive Sleep Apnoea) – a legit medical concern. Yikes. Getting tested ASAP. If you’re curious or concerned about OSA, I’ve included a link to a Sleep Apnoea screening in the wrap-up below.
To address your burning question (and mine): how do we get rid of snoring???
Well, the annoying answer is: it's a bit of a case-by-case situation. Dive into the WellFemme article below (there's even a video if reading’s not your jam) for some insights, then chat with your GP for personalised advice. Or, you know, invest in some top-notch earplugs for your significant other and the whole neighbourhood!
Oh and it’s tax time … yawn 🥱
Until next month
Crack The Code On Perimenopausal Sleep Problems - I'm Looking At You, Snoring
Dr. Kelly Teagle from WellFemme is our sleep saviour, unravelling the mysteries of menopause-related sleep issues. She explains what causes sleep disorders, how they’re treated, natural sleep enhancers, medical options, and how to spot a sleep disorder.
P.S. the Sleep Apnoea screening link is here – don’t snooze on it!
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