menopause-and-stress

A Van Gogh moment – but with both ears intact

April 09, 20245 min read

A Van Gogh moment – but with both ears intact.

I think I’m having an identity crisis.

It all started with a birthday that flew by faster than a bat out of hell.

While I was too busy to celebrate fabulously like any self-respecting woman in her 50s should (I know, who am I??), I definitely found time to contemplate my existence, as one does when faced with another lap around the sun.  

Now, don’t get me wrong – I’m all for introspection. In fact, I’ve elevated it to an art form; dissecting every life decision I’ve made so far and wondering if I’m living my best life.

My brain calls it “hypercritical nit-picking.’ I call it reflecting. 

Tomato/Tomahto.

I also did something risky.

In a moment of boldness (or madness) I asked a “friend” (if that’s what we’re calling someone after two dates) to describe who I am. 

He said he didn’t know.

And before I could spiral into a frenzy about his lack of observation skills, I realised he’d made a very fair point, given how long he’d actually known me. Touché buddy, touché. 

Despite our date ending, the question kept lingering.

Seriously, who am I???

As I grappled with this existential crisis (or what my therapist would call a regular Thursday), it dawned on me that maybe, just maybe, I'm in the midst of a midlife identity makeover.

I’ve had Billie Eillish’s “What Was I Made For” on repeat and thanks to the menopausal transition, clearly baby-making is off the cards. Although some days I do look pregnant. But that’s a story for next month.

So, what now?

Well, step one involves shaking off the shackles of “Past Grace” and running naked into the sea (metaphorically, of course... or maybe not😜 ). 

There’s unexpected perks to menopause and not knowing exactly who you are.

It means I’m a blank canvas, totally free to paint my own masterpiece. Minus the Van Gogh/ear situation. 

Until now, I’ve been navigating life with a backpack full of responsibilities and societal expectations,
and maybe it’s the haywire hormones, but menopause has a way of liberating you from those chains. 

So while I’m still figuring out how who I am (if I ever do), I’m oddly content with the ongoing evolution of me. 

Maybe I’ll go lay in the sun with an Aperol spritz, think on it some more, and let you know where I land. 

Riled Up

Wanna know what’s got my feathers ruffled this month – The Lancet Report saga. 

“Grace, what’s that?”

I’m glad you asked because it’s caused quite a stir.

In a nutshell, this series of papers published in The Lancet (a top-tier medical journal) claimed menopause is “over-medicalised,” treatment options are veering into commercial territory, and it’s disempowering women.  

Over-medicalised? Seriously? We’re stuck with HRT as the one-size-fits-all solution. And we don’t even realise we need it until years down the line. 

Other leading Australian researchers worry the ideas in the report could make it harder for women to get the menopause help they need.

I’m not here to bash the report, as it did raise valid points about needing evidence-based info and proper support for navigating menopause. 

But it missed the mark by oversimplifying menopause and ignoring the diversity of women’s experiences. 

The best thing that’s come out of this is we’re having conversations! People are seeking solutions, pushing for more research, and highlighting the need for awareness and advocacy to tackle gender biases in medicine. It’s about time! 

Decoding the menopause brain

Leading neuroscientist, women’s brain health specialist, and all-round bad-ass Dr. Lisa Mosconi just released her new book, The Menopause Brain (my copy has just arrived in the post). It’s packed with 15 years of research to prove that menopause isn’t just about the ovaries, it’s a full-on neurological event.  

I can’t remember the last time I was this excited over a book. Actually, that’s not true,  Hollowpox: The Hunt for Morrigan Crow had me positively giddy. (No judgement, please).

Dr. Mosconi brings us the latest, cutting-edge menopause approaches; from “designer estrogens” and hormonal contraception, to key lifestyle changes in diet, exercise, self-care and self-talk. 

It honestly couldn’t come at a better time. I need serious brain help! I left my car at the train station and remembered when I woke up (at home) ready to jump into it to go to the gym.

Sigh.

I’ll read and report back, so stay tuned!

Until next month


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Grace had a challenging and rewarding career as a corporate high-achiever. Not to mention family life, with kids aged five and seven, keeping her busy. But something wasn’t quite right.

Grace Zielinski

Grace had a challenging and rewarding career as a corporate high-achiever. Not to mention family life, with kids aged five and seven, keeping her busy. But something wasn’t quite right.

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